11 February 2017


Acceptance. It's something we all find hard to do once in a while. And is something I'm urging myself to do right this minute. Often, I like to blame myself for things in life, one thing being lost friendships. And today I found myself scrolling through my timeline, and being hit in the face with the reminder of a particular friendship that got torn to shreds almost a year ago.

Now I can say I was partly to blame, but the other person seems to have a skill for grudges even though the ending of said friendship was her doing. I know I haven't blogged in a couple of days; sort of defeating the purpose of blogruary, I know, my failed attempt of blogging everyday this month, but life happened and when life happens, blogging had to take a tea break.

As you could tell from my previous posts, I have found ways to deal with the heartache and all the emotions that my wonderful mind likes to put me through. As I've become stronger it has become easier to accept that which is around me, and not let it define me in any way. I wasted an hour of my life before typing this up, thinking why, oh dear why, this girl hates me enough to not even talk to me about work related stuff; and then it hit me! that this is another thing just I need to accept and move on with. I don't have to like it, yes, it will be painful because I just can't understand the reasons for what's going on, but I still need to accept it so that I can fully move evolve in life.

New friendships will arise, and yes, I have made quite a few new friends and done some amazing things since we ended the friendship, so I know I won't die if we don't at least become civil. Life really is too short to be over caring about others that couldn't bat an eyelid your way. just sayin'. No matter how sorry I am, or how much I loved the person like family, I have realised that I just can't force her to let go of whatever is hurting her. So if any of you are having similar situations as me, just know that if your doing all you can to accommodate that person or persons feelings, and they aren't doing anything in return, it's time to just let go, because you have done all you can and now the last thing that needs to happen is you accepting that some broken things just can't be fixed.

I like to put others first too much is what it is. I've grown up thinking of others first, me later, which is very bad in some regards, in others it is a beautiful trait, but in situations like the example I have given, it's a trait that needs to die lol And I have been so selfish lately and putting myself first, that it shocked me when I saw the timeline and a burst of feelings of wonder and what if's, came to mind about the other person. Acceptance really is key, and that is different from tolerance guys, so don't get the two confused. No one should tolerate a bad friendship etc, but you can accept that, that is who the person is and decide to make changes for yourself. Be your own boss and decide to not let past or present bad issues dictate you in a way that will make you feel small, or lesson yourself; because I began feeling what I felt during my darkest depression days and I thought, ahhh nah nah to the nah, I am not sinking back down when I have climbed so high. Hence, the acceptance speech I have just preached to you haha, It's a reminder to myself and as I type this I'm already seeing more things more clearly.

Acceptance, guys, acceptance. 

love, Renae x

something I used to say to myself : Be grateful for the moments of Today, for tomorrow you will not get the Same. (let's hope not, change is good)



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